Children develop in stages. The first five years are crucial in developing compassion and empathy. That can only be developed when baby receives compassion and empathy by being responded to immediately when baby feels overwhelmed or stressed.
In a functioning family, mom will be the center of a baby's life until early childhood. The child will turn to mother for nurturing in any way, physically, psychologically, or emotionally. With a tender caregiver, baby will develop into a tender caring adult.
MEM mothers care emotionally about their baby boy when it is they, themselves, who need a hug or crave a touch. MEM mothers care about themselves and their own emotions, not baby's. Baby's needs are always second or third. Baby is trained early on to cater to mom, the compassion area of the brain, the frontal lobes, or to be exact the supramarginal gyrus, part of the cerebral cortex, is not developed properly.
A MEM baby will lack empathy and sympathy when older, only trained to keep mom happy without having empathy nor sympathy with even himself.
Piaget differentiates the child's development in four stages. The Sensorimotor from birth to about two years. The Preoperational from toddlerhood to about age seven. This is when the most important emotional parts of the brain have already been formed either positive or negative.
The Concrete operational stages is from about seven years to twelve. This is also the stage where children are drawn to their parent of the same sex.
MEM mothers will not allow this natural instinct of the child to be with his father. Male children at this age want to be in the masculine energy. They want to be with dad. They want to identify with men. In an intact family, the son will start going places with dad. He will be allowed to go on camping trips with dad, cook with dad, travel with dad, go on outings with dad, sit by dad, lean on dad, talk to dad more and more. Mom is still important to make the son feel secure at home but he is entering his father's sphere and father takes him under his wing to become a man. Mother encourages this shift and enjoys seeing her son grow into a man by emulating his father.
In a MEM family, the mother will not let the son move towards the father. The father is also little interested in the son and has no desire to spend more time with him. He has few expectations and is only marginally involved with the son in the first place. Mother is quite protective of her son. She kept him close to her emotionally and physically and will always have reasons why her son cannot move towards the father. The father is also often criticized by mom and mom makes her son feel that he is a better man than his father. This is confusing for the child but his ego grows as he thinks himself a better provider and emotional support to his mom than his own father. The son understands he is mom's partner and mom needs him.
The same happens in the fourth stage, the formal operational stage from adolescence to adulthood. This is a time when the son would move towards relationships with his peers, including dating and forming relationships with the opposite sex. In a healthy family, this stage too would be encouraged. The son would spend time being with his friends and peers, group activities and dates. He would bring friends over to hang out, work on cars, motorcycles, or watch a movie.
In a MEM family, the mother will not tolerate her son exploring with girls. She will become sick, or upset, or emotionally unstable in order for her son to stay home. He will feel guilty for leaving her, even if she says it is OK for him to leave, her body language and tone of voice and intonations will let her son know that he is treading on thin ice and she is not pleased with him wanting to leave her. He will often find excuses why he can't hang out with friends or go on a date. He will feel uneasy and sick to himself the few times he does go on a date or an activity, especially if girls are involved, knowing that his mom is home needing him. He left his heart at home and cannot give his date his full attention.
MEM mothers manipulate their sons early on to be their servants and the sons don't realize they have been abused their entire lives. They would give their live for their abuser all in the name of love without ever knowing that their abuser does not love them, only loves the control they have over them. Mother enmeshed men are the saddest victims of abuse out there and often choose not to become survivors but rather die in their sad state of being a mamma's boy.