As I was reading I realized she is writing about us, you and I, spouses of MEM. She describes us in psychologist Sandra L. Brown words, the founder of the Institute of Relational Harm Reduction, as “”super traits” of agreeableness, conscientiousness, and self-directedness. [We] are usually optimistic, have a can-do attitude, an excellent work ethic, compassion, patience, and the ability to see the best in everything and everyone.” Dr. Northrup goes on to say “old-soul empaths belive-deep down in their heart of hearts- that everyone can change, so they stick with the vampire for years, even as their own health and self-confidence wanes.”
Does that not describe you? You who have sacrificed and sacrificed to please your MEM, to make it work only to be thrown under the bus again and again because mom is more important? To be drawn into an argument because your MEM fears you becoming too emotionally close and threatening his mother spot of being the only female he lets emotionally close? Or rather is allowed to let close.
Christiane Northrup explains a working relationship. “When a relationship works for mutual benefit- whether that's creating a home, a family, a business, or being of service to those in need-an alchemical magic happens. The unbridled healing energy of two or more people working in harmony for good creates a third energy that is greater than what each person could do individually.”
As the book continues she explains how unhealthy relationships with an energy vampire make us physically sick. Especially autoimmune disorders develop when our energy is being constantly eaten by others. I found myself and you in this book often, our experience as an old soul empath makes us vulnerable to attracting emotional vampires we will sacrifice to help when in reality there is no help for them from any extrinsic source, it has to be intrinsic and that is beyond our reach.
To all you partners of MEM, step in your energy and live your life as you were meant to be.