MEM families all seem to be well trained in gaslighting. They will present themselves as a wonderful close family who care about all, sending gifts for all occasions, making meals for neighbors who are sick, always saying the right thing, and so on. Very few people know of the darkness and evil that resides in each member of the MEM family and the evil attacks they dish out to the unsuspecting partner of a MEM.
The face the MEM family presents to the world seems to contradict what the victim or partner of the MEM feels to be true. However, because the MEM family is seen as wonderfully close and caring, the partner of the MEM has no place to ask for help. They cannot possibly speak out, nobody would believe they are being manipulated and abused.
The goal of gaslighters is to keep the victim hooked. I believe this is the same goal for a MEM gaslighter. They want the victim to be controllable, predictable and solid, always available when MEM feels like having a partner. The MEM family all have permission to participate in gaslighting. How many times my actions were questioned, my upbringing, my education, my parenting, and the list is long. All meaning well and if I disagreed or defended myself my words were then twisted and the gaslighter explained that I misunderstand what is actually happening. Since the family sticks together the victim of gaslighting has no help, no escape, and her feelings are never validated. The outcome is designed to make the partner confused about right and wrong and to believe she is wrong instead of the MEM family evil.
It leaves the victim with a feeling of not wanting to be around those people but not being able to express why for fear of not being believed and having nobody to turn to. Partners feel as if they are expected to apologize all the time for what they do or where they come from. You never feel good enough, can't measure up to these presumably perfect people. A partner might question if they are overreacting or too sensitive. Instead of looking forward to family gatherings the victim or partner feels dread and a desire to run away rather than go. It feels lonely and isolated. The partner ends up feeling not quite themselves, not as strong and confident as they were in the past. Partners wonder why they do not feel happy like they used to. They don't express or speak up anymore because whatever they say is twisted any of the gaslighter family turns into the victim should the real victim bring it up the abuse. Gaslighting is real in MEM families. If you are with a MEM keep reminding yourself, you are NOT crazy, they are.