The other day I was standing next to a couple of married adult men and a young adult man who was asking questions about marriage. The topic turned to crying. The young man asked if the wife always gets her way and the two married men talked about how they can usually discuss things reasonably but when the wife starts crying, all bets are off, they will take care of her and her emotional needs. I was quiet. My mind went to the few times I did cry in my marriage and was ignored. One time, I was so lonely and emotionally spent, I cried and this is what I got, I quote: “Are you sick?” Me: “No, not that I know off.” End of the conversation. No compassion, no asking more questions, no trying to resolve my emotional turmoil. I remember locking myself in the bathroom and laying on the floor crying. That was probably the last time I cried in front of my MEM. I realized crying is just a sign of weakness for him and a way to manipulate him and he will not go there. I cried alone many times but never again in front of him. It gave me hope to hear about these men taking care of their wives emotionally and that tears did tuck on their hearts and they would take the time to figure out what exactly is going on and stood ready to do whatever it takes to see their wife happy again. MEM have no compassion for their spouses. Maybe it is because we are supposed to mother them, take care of their needs but are not allowed any of our own.
1 Comment
|
AuthorIn a relationship with a Mother Enmeshed Men for over 17 years, 15 married. Way too long! Lots of experience and insight into what it is like to be the spouse of a MEM and what a MEM couple can do to survive. Archives
April 2024
Categories |
|