In the 20th century, Paul Ekman, an American psychologists and professor emeritus at the University of California, San Francisco, released six basic emotions he detected in people's faces.
Those emotions were anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.
MEM and families run on their basic emotions. The most prevalent is fear. A MEM is taught to keep mom happy.
He fears her disapproval. He fears upsetting her. He fears something bad might happen to her. He fears her getting sick. He fears the family's wrath if he doesn't obey mother. He fears being alone. He fears loosing her love. He fears feeling guilt. He fears cheating on her. He fears failing her. He fears being abandoned. He fears she will never be happy. He fears being disloyal. He fears, he fears, and he fears. Fear is what motivates him in all aspects of his relationships.
Human beings are complex. There are more than the basic emotions but they don't seem to be developed in an enmeshed man. Momma boys don't feel, they fear.
Growing up their emotions did not matter, they were not validated, nor met. Usually a child develops a pathway to the the rational brain starting in the first few years of life. The more parents validate feelings and help a child connect to his own true feelings, the more the pathway to the rational brain is worn in and the child can think rationally rather than act emotionally to all challenges. A child who has not been allowed to have emotions will not develop this pathway very well, if any at all. Instead of understanding another's feelings or their own, they run on basic emotions, usually fear.
They fear a partner getting too close because they fear mother being upset. They fear a partner learning his true emotions, they fear a partner finding their weaknesses, they fear a partner cracking the wall around their hearts and emotions, they fear being abandoned by a partner, they fear mother's wrath for being with another woman, fear, fear, fear.
A mother enmeshed man is so afraid of live, they never find happiness and joy in life. Those emotions do not exist for them. It is fear, the only emotion they are familiar with, that runs their lives. Anger is always a secondary emotion. Something triggers the anger. For example, someone cuts you off on the highway, you flip them off angrily. Anger is not the first emotion, it was fear that they are going to hit you, then the anger sets in. Mamma boys are angry inside, very angry, but it is not the first emotion, something triggered that anger. It usually is fear of being controlled. MEM are sensitive of anybody trying to control them other than the mother. They give mother free reign, not realizing how having her in control of their own lives actually builds up their anger, mountains of it, avalanches of anger. As soon as anybody else triggers fear of control, the anger is unleashed. Often has nothing to do with the trouble at hand.
MEM run on fear, something a person in tune with their emotions and capable of talking about them and acknowledging them would not do. They connect to their partner with their honest emotions. A MEM and his family do not have honest emotions, only fear.