Being married to a MEM is the complete opposite. Nothing feels safe. One never knows when the MEM is set off and starts ranting and raving. Ideas are being processed over and over in one's head, even though there is a strong desire to share them, to get an opinion, to get help, to feel safe, one never does share. A partner is so trained to tread careful not to set off the MEM and therefore many things, which would help build a rock solid relationship, will never be shared.
In the beginning of a relationship with MEM, women are often strong enough to share. They try only to be put in their place. That can be through ridicule by saying what is important to her is so crazy it shouldn't even be considered. It can be through a blow up just yelling about the inadequacies of the partner. It could be the comparison with mother who can do everything so much better and is so much smarter and so much prettier and so much healthier and so much more capable and on and on. There are numerous ways a mem partner is put into place. The result is a partner is no longer willing to share her innermost thoughts and feelings, hence the impossible feat of every getting closer to the MEM. The conversations revolve around what MEM wants to talk about but don't get personal. He will always find ways to keep the partner at bay and mom emotional close.
The destroyed self esteem and constant put downs and lack of being authentic and one self in the presence of the MEM makes the partner retreat into themselves and loose the desire to share with the partner. Share anything really. Not even about mundane things because the MEM will most likely lash out being superior in anything.
Being married to a MEM leads to an awful lonely life. One can never be oneself around the MEM and soon looses one self trying to be what MEM wants just so the partner can have a little tiny piece of attention from the MEM. Even in a group of people, like the MEM's family, the partner is completely lonely and emotionally shut out from the MEM and his family. Emotionally there is no positive bond. Any bond that exists is negative. All experiences trying to share anything emotional ended up being a disaster and emotionally draining and hence all interactions have been negative. Instead of building on positive experiences and fun, one builds on failed attempts to share, a sad and draining energy.
Based on past experiences, even if MEM goes into counseling, many things will never be shared because of fear of being too vulnerable to someone who will exploit it. A sad way to live indeed.