Sometimes I have flashbacks of things that happened that let me know none of this was my fault. I did nothing to deserve abuse. One of the ways to keep distant a mem uses is rejection. Sometimes in subtle ways a mem spouse is rejected and with that put in her place. There is no emotional closeness. It can be just a moving away when you feel stressed and just need a hug. I can be with a few words pushing you away when you just need some kindness and an uplifting word. It is a slide remark when you may not look your best, tired and wore out from maybe taking care of a child half the night. A turning away from you when your tears fall because you are at the end of your rope. An “innocent “ comparison with the beloved mother or a sister where they of course are better than you.
A mem partner does nothing to deserve this treatment. It is the evil nature of the mem family to inflict this torture on the victim, covering it well to keep others from seeing through it. The victim is alone, all alone.
Rejection after rejection kills the soul and you become a shell of yourself simply trying to survive. The MeM and his family have control. It is lonely. It is inhumane. It is murder of the soul.