Laying in bed that night I tried to remember my MEM's mother ever talking to me. Just talking, not correcting me or criticizing me. Sadly I could not think of a single time she took time to get to know me. She had absolutely no interest in getting to know me. She knew from the beginning that I was trouble and she needed to get rid of me, having the support of her other children to do so. Passive Aggressiveness hid her behavior well and everybody always felt bad for her. She lived the victims life. I was the enemy she fought to her dying breath. My MEM saw her before she passed and she wouldn't let go of him. He was told she couldn't communicate anymore but when he was there she kept saying, don't go, don't go. Her last attempted to have him serve her. He stayed much longer than planned. We all know a MEM goes back to being the little man when surrounded by old dysfunctional family patterns.
Whatever your situation, never stoop down to the low dysfunctional level of a MEM mother. Never. Do not treat your son's girlfriend as an enemy. Make friends. Be welcoming. You know what it feels like to be betrayed, stabbed in the back, ridiculed, criticized, and more. It is awful and lonely. I am looking forward to a positive relationship with my son's girlfriend. I am hoping for visits who are fun and inviting. A time to relax and let me spoil them both a little. I can only imagine you mem spouses and partners feel the same. We know.