Mem like to put their partner and kids down just to feel superior. A Mem has such a little self esteem, although they pretend to be confident, they are not. They mask it by pretending to be tough, in control. In reality they are emotionally totally immature. Any compliment the partner gets is put down and made fun off. He makes fun of her in front of others. All in good humor he says. The children suffer just seeing the mom being constantly put down along with themselves being put down. A mem does not care about the needs of the partner or children. Just his own. His needs were never important for anybody, in turn he cannot put anybody's needs in front of his own. How many times did we carry sleeping children in from a car and he simply deposited them on the couch, all crooked, no thought of making them comfortable. No blanket, no straightening them out, nothing. Duty had him carry a child in but that is it, no sense of the needs of that child or any desire to meet that need. No help in carrying groceries in, even 9 month pregnant I carried them alone. Simply can't see another's needs. A MEM has been deprived of having his needs met, he never learned to see anybody elses needs. The only needs or wishes he ever learned to see is the mothers. The mother is well cared for. It is such a sad abusive cycle and a mem can't get out of it, can't see it. I think of children in other countries who eat bugs. That is how they grew up, don't think anything of it, just eat the bugs. We don't, we didn't grow up eating bugs. We won't eat them. A Mem grew up doing the mother's wishes, concentrating on her. He doesn't know any different. Only mother is his life. Those who have grown up without a dysfunctional family like that, we can't fathom why a mem can't see it. They just never knew any different. Being mother's little man is all they know. What a sad dependent life.
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AuthorIn a relationship with a Mother Enmeshed Men for over 17 years, 15 married. Way too long! Lots of experience and insight into what it is like to be the spouse of a MEM and what a MEM couple can do to survive. Archives
April 2024
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