The vast majority of people think the affectionate mother is in her right and the daughter in law is the problem. Enmeshment is impossible to understand if you have not studied it or lived through it. It is seen as cute and good. Much more of the dysfunction needs to be exposed in order for society to realize how sick and wrong enmeshment is. It kills the natural character of the son and makes him a puppet of mother.
I went and asked google if it is possible to sue ones mother-in-law for alienation of affection. Here are some things I found.
Someone asking on a lawyer forum:
Can I sue my mother in law for alienation of affection?She intentionally causes problems and has throughout my entire marriage of 8 years and now because my husband is tired of her always having issues with me he is choosing to end our marriage because "it will always be something."
The answers are:
Alienation of affection lawsuits (also known as “homewrecker” or “heartbalm” lawsuits), are civil tort claims. As its monikers suggest, an alienation of affection case is brought by a spouse who’s been deserted as a result of a third party’s actions.
An individual can seek damages in an action for alienation of affection against a third party who "alienates" the affections of one spouse from the other spouse. These actions are typically brought by the innocent spouse against the guilty spouse's alleged lover, but can be brought against any third party.
Alienation may also increase symptoms of mental and physical disorders that can include: psychological pain, including anger and depression. health effects from drug or alcohol abuse. eating disorders. attempted suicide.
The exact law language is:
At common law, alienation of affections is a tort action brought by a deserted spouse against a third party alleged to be responsible for the failure of the marriage. The defendant in an alienation of affections suit is typically an adulterous spouse's lover, although family members, counselors and therapists or clergy members who have advised a spouse to seek divorce have also been sued for alienation of affections.
§ 52-13. Procedures in causes of action for alienation of affection and criminal conversation.
(a) No act of the defendant shall give rise to a cause of action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation that occurs after the plaintiff and the plaintiff's spouse physically separate with the intent of either the plaintiff or plaintiff's spouse that the physical separation remain permanent.
(b) An action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation shall not be commenced more than three years from the last act of the defendant giving rise to the cause of action.
(c) A person may commence a cause of action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation against a natural person only.
It sounds like a spouse of a mem would have every right to sue the mem's mother for alienation of affection. Unfortunately most judges wouldn't see a problem. No matter how many years they sat in school to become lawyers and judges, they would not be able to see how devastating it is to be married to a mem. It will take raising a lot of awareness for society to accept this is a dysfunction and needs professional help. Of course more professionals would need to become fluent in this dysfunction as well as the majority of professionals don't know enmeshment either and often counsel contrary to what is needed to help.
Not many states allow a lawsuit for alienation of affection. These States do:
Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah.
I am no longer in a State where such a lawsuit is allowed but I would have loved to file one against my mem's mother although there is not enough money in the world to pay for all the damage she caused. Damage to me but most of all to my mem. Altered who he was meant to be. I would have liked to do it just to raise awareness of this utter dysfunction that is not clearly visible to outsiders.