I realized there is no belonging. I get tired because I am exhausted fighting every day for basic things a wife, mother, and woman in general should be allowed to have, an opinion.
Do I leave and split up the family to find my own happiness? Or do I stay and continue to be a nobody, nobody likes and appreciates, good to clean, do laundry, organize things for them like vacations or birthdays and holidays, good to shuttle them around and to listen to their day while remaining silent on mine? Right now some available jobs in a far away State look enticing.
Looking back I am upset with myself for not recognizing the red flags all along. I could have saved myself decades of pain and gallons of tears had I only paid attention.