It was the same park my MEM and I visited on our honeymoon. My MEM asked me if I wanted to go again. I said no, never. I will never set foot in this park again. He was shocked and asked why. I explained how I was completely stone walled and abandoned in that park. He wouldn't talk to me, touch me, hold hands, nothing. Sleeping with me was all I was good for. The hopes and dreams of getting married and starting a life full of laughter and love died the day of making vows. There was no taking care of each other for better or worse, in good and bad times. It was me taking care of his needs and totally giving up my own. I was a servant to him, nothing more. I won't go back to this park to open the wounds that are still there, trying to heal.
If I were to give anybody in this situation advice, I would say, run. Take the car, leave your MEM there, go home, annul the marriage and find someone who is emotionally capable of cleaving to you, letting go of mother and father. I didn't know then. The abuse felt familiar due to my father's abuse over the years. We even went home a detour to stop at the MEM mother's home to make sure she knows she is still number one in his life. I didn't see any of it then, I do now. Don't wish it on anybody else. The wounds still hurt. After I got done explaining why I would never go there again, my MEM had the nerve to turn it around and become the victim. He asked, “why would you bring that up now?” "Why would you stab me like that, it is like a knife is in my belly and being turned.”
He becomes the victim. Instead of saying, yes, I was a total jerk, I messed up big time, you should have left, you had every right to leave, I wasn't even human at the time and so on, he turns it around and I am the perpetrator and he is the victim who needs compassion and care. When I pointed that out, he only fell silent. Still has not realized the extend of the damage he caused through his dysfunctional mother enmeshment. We can never go back to a honeymoon. My feelings will never mirror the ones I had then full of life and love and hope for the future that were crushed in a few hours of abuse.