That just solidified my theory that MEM mothers complain about their enmeshed sons as form of control. It also keep the MEM mother as the victim. They get a lot of sympathy from others because they are dealing with hard things in life, like children who need to be corrected. It makes outsiders think this mem mother is a Saint. She has such a loving relationship with her son even though it is hard. Same with my brother. It seems it is so difficult to have this adopted daughter when in reality he is in control and he needs her emotionally, taking her on dates and being the wonderful parent doing so much with her even though it is so difficult. Maybe adoption adds another layer of confusion for the child because they are not really blood related.
I notice this pattern more and more as he gets older and is less careful about covering up the covert incest. It is best for me to keep my distance and reduce contact to a minimum or essentially no contact. I can't deal with watching my niece being abused in an enmeshed relationship while making sense and healing from the abuse I received from my MEM and his family. I just wish I could rescue my niece and provide her a happy home somewhere away from having to fill a role she never measures up for anyway and that will completely destroy her future. Enmeshment is evil to the core.